Giving Thanks

The holidays are upon us...

Granted, we'd survived Halloween already- so The Holidays, more truthfully, are already in full swing.

Halloween for me as a kid was an interlude to the monthly addition of Thanksgiving, Christmas and eventually New years. You didn't get a day off for Halloween and more-n-more these days with the "sensibilities" [read: Political Correctness] of religious fearmongering, Halloween is almost extinct. So, though Halloween counts- it doesn't figure nearly as prevalently in my mind as all the others...

Ah, but then there's Thanksgiving...

Now that's a holiday for me.

Here's the funny part- I actually preferred Thanksgiving, not because of the Macy's parade or the turkey on the table, or any of that Norman Rockwell wholesomeness- no, I preferred this holiday because it was the first time since summer that I might get to see my cousin Eric.

I came from a family of nomads. No doubt about it- when Clan Rose took off from the Scottish Lowlands to Ireland, and from there to America I don't think until my Grandfather [or perhaps his father] did my family tree ever settle down. The only dichotomy to this story is that my cousin Eric was associated to me by family only in marriage- you see, he was my Stepmother's nephew...

At any rate, the reason for mentioning the Nomadic reference was that Eric's family also seemed to be destined for some of that roaming lifestyle. There was the longest time that he lived in Oklahoma [if I'm correct, he still does] and my only chance to see him was when he'd come over for a certain amount of the summer and most of the major holidays.

He was my "first" cousin as I had no extended relatives from my parents that I was aware. And, of course, he was closer to my twin and my age. Add to that the same sense of twisted humor [even back when we were prepubescent] and a fresh viewpoint...

There was never a time I can think of to this day, that I didn't treasure.

He has his own kids now. I have mine.

He [from what I remember] is still living in Oklahoma, I now live in Florida.

The last time I saw him was around 2002 or 2003, and the time we would have spent together was spent trying to make the rounds so that we felt that no one had been overlooked or ignored. Stifle that time with tending to our own families and their needs, our time together only mattered in minutes.

But, though I won't see him [or most anyone else] this holiday season, I'll still carry those youthful, wide-eyed memories of suacer gun battles and playing poker in the attic crawlspace, with the doors locked so all our "little cousins" would leave us alone.

If my Blog entry title is to have meaning, I'd have to say that it's not the forlorning of what I had that would make this holiday special. My time of fascination has given way to basting turkeys and making sure nobody burns my pies.

No; for me giving Thanks will be making sure that my son [and soon expected daughter] will have those same opportunities. Those same wide-eyed expressions. Those cousins and sisters and brothers to want for and gleefully play together, slowly to one day look back and realize what this was all about.

For me; the transition to the most powerful of expressions has finally been granted. I now hold in my hand [along with "Momma Bear"] the power to make memories for our children. As our parents and grandparents before us provided the foundation and safe environment for us to lose ourselves from our daily rituals and enjoy our relatives- now it's time for me to pick up that torch and light the way for mine.

It's not easy, this change in roles.

But it is necessary.

Peace be with you all. Especially those far from us. The holidays are tough with no one else arround- they're even tougher alone.

I continue to be: Russ