There's a joke that's been floating around, probably for ages, that pits atheists against God...
Believe or disbelieve; the power of the story is surely debatable if not undeniable.
Now, before I go much further, let's just get out in the open my side of this story.
I happen to be a "believer". If that's troubling to you that just can't stomach such "ancient" deliberations, all I'll ask is that you get used to it. I'm certainly used to you.
Those that want to gripe about "expression" from a Constitutional standpoint seem to forget that the line is "Freedom OF Religion" not 'Freedom FROM Religion". If you think you're a junior lawyer type because you took Social Studies 101 at the local community college- belly up to Russ's bar here and drink like an adult. Trust me when I tell you, you'll be puking in the corner when I'm done with you.
Tell you what; I'll take this a step further and come to a compromise with you God haters...
I'll keep loving Jesus in my quiet indominatable way and not rub your nose in it- and you can continue to disavow there's any God and that your life is totally under your own control; but you have to shut your yap if I choose to bless my meal- capice?
Either way, you'll be insulted with my story and that's just too bad. You see, if in your Godless realm you're insulted by the medieval likes of me, who's really the fool here? This is a story that can have either professing their "right" or cause and neither is the worse off. I suppose we'll see.
On with the story...
Take any college campus in America- your choice, this story has it's roots planted in every Ivy League and small city college all over the world- so where isn't important.
At "X College" a Morals and Ethics professor decided one day to shock his beleaguered students with the ultimate act of defiance. He was going to prove that god did not exist.
Having announced this to the throng of students, the auditorium went morgue silent- all attention was drawn to the professor and his willful act of catrission.
"God- if you do exist, I demand that you prove yourself by acting out upon me..." he began.
Noting the bug eyed expression of many in the large room, he smirked as he continued.
"If you truly do exist- knock me off this pulpit! I am but one man and defy you to prove your existence! I will only give you fifteen minutes to prove your power over me!"
As the captive audience sat dumbfounded the professor flipped his jacket sleeves in a flourished ruffle and continued on with his lesson plan. By the time 5 minutes had passed he paused for a moment, mockingly looked to the heavens and pronounced, "Ten minutes, God! You've got ten minutes to show yourself and knock me off this pulpit!"
Without even so much as an acknowledgement that he'd said such a thing, the professor continued on with [insert morals or ethical study here]. Again, after another 5 minutes, the professor grinned an evil grin and shouted at the ceiling...
"God- you're trying my patience! If you exist, you have a lousy way of showing it! You have 5 minutes to show yourself or I'll have proved my point that you don't exist!"
With two minutes left in the professor's "God Countdown Showdown" he placed his arms in a faux crucifix style and taunted God to reveal himself.
Then came the final 30 seconds.
Exuding all manner of braggadocio, the professor began a countdown with the mark of 30 seconds.
Off in the corner as the count reached 25, a lone figure was seen walking from the middle of the auditorium, his expression only that of calm, quiet, determination.
The countdown still filed in ernest, the professor mockingly dripping his cadence with sarcasm and droll wit. The lone figure was just short of the pulpit as the count reached 'ten'.
At the count of three, the figure was immediately upon the professor cocked back and administering a rock solid punch to the forehead of the professor, just as the count reached "one".
There the professor layed, sprawled on the floor of the pulpit, out cold. The lone figure sharply turning and taking an open seat at the very front of auditorium, as close as he could be to the now unconscious professor.
Again, everyone in the auditorium were silent, gawking, mouths agape at the sight they had all just witnessed.
Eventually the professor regained his senses, if not his composure, and scowled at the silent, yet strangely meek young man across from him.
"What the hell did you do that for?" The professor blurted. "I was trying to prove a point!"
With all candor, the young man spoke, "God couldn't come to the pulpit right now, he's currently out protecting my brothers and sisters who's lives have been shed and are in harm's way so that you can spout off that drivel."
"Brothers and Sisters?!" The Professor sputters. "What are you, some kind of Jesus freak? Brothers and sisters indeed!"
The young man sadly smiles, "Since God couldn't come right away to accept your call, he sent me."
"What makes you think you're so special you impudent thug?" The Professor mocks.
"I guess you could say that God wanted to send you the very best. I was a United States Navy SEAL. He wanted to be sure you got HIS point."
I continue to be: Russ
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